![]() And while in many cases there may not be a genuine concern, it is always wise to circle back around when dealing with anything disturbing our children say or do.Step into the enchanting world of Hocus Pocus as you explore Hallmark's captivating collection of gifts and ornaments. NOTE: When we tell our child “We can talk about that later,” it is best to follow through. It is liberating and helps us teach our children to be responsible as well as honest with themselves and others. This is a fundamental tool for all parents and teachers. Using a matter of fact statement like “That may be …” informs our child that we heard them, that their complaints might be true, but that our expectations override their concerns at this time. Parent: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but it is a school night and you are staying home.”Īs parents, we don’t need to honor those emotional blurbs designed to avoid responsibility. Parent: “We can talk about that later, but right now I need you to turn off your video game.” Parent: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but right now I need you to go get ready for bed.”Ĭhild: “I’m going to go live with my Dad!” Parent: “That may be, but what is the rule about running in the house?” Parent: That may be, but the curfew is still 9:00. Let’s see how these Purposeful Parents handle it…Ĭhild: You are so controlling and you always freak out about everything. ![]() Where it belongs using statements like these: The Purposeful Parent knows how to keep the focus GOTCHA! Hocus Pocus, they flipped the focus. Maybe I should make it 8:00, then you won’t … blah, blah, blah. I give you an extra hour and you call me controlling? And how dare you tell me I freak out when I am trying so hard to be fair. Parent: Controlling? Just because I ask you to be home at a certain time? Most of your friends need to be home by 8:00. Teenager: You are so controlling and you freak out about everything! (Mirror Flip) Parent: I need you home tonight by 9:00 and in bed by 10:00. Parent: What? I treat all of you equally! Where do you get off saying I don’t like you! That’s so unbelievable! Why would you say that? As a matter of fact, it was YOU that I took to the park yesterday, not anyone else! It’s not nice to say that to your … blah, blah, blah. Parent: You need to clean your room right now!Ĭhild: You never yell at anybody but me! You don’t like me! (Mirror Flip) ![]() This is due, in part, to the fact that they also happen to be fluent in ‘parent button-pushing.’ This scary combination can be powerful and to the unsuspecting and very busy parent, super frustrating! How these victims (parents) handle it: Children can quickly become seasoned little ‘mirror flipping’ experts. Hocus Pocus- they flipped the focus! And while it might seem pretty transparent, an experienced magician can easily confound the unprepared audience. When a person is confronted with changing a behavior, instead of focusing on it, that person instead immediately points out a fault of another. We refer to this mental magic trick as ‘Flipping the Mirror.’ Today we are introducing one such trick which uses ‘slight of mind’ to quickly switch the focus off of one person and on to another. Sometimes children and adults use manipulative strategies to avoid responsibility.
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